(last edited December 28, 2010)

The Simpsons/Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words

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Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words Synopsis

Season 20: Episode Six

Homer exploits Lisa's crossword puzzle talent to make money

  1. Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words Synopsis
  2. Act I
    1. Scene 1
    2. Scene 2
    3. Scene 3
    4. Scene 4
    5. Scene 5
    6. Scene 6
    7. Scene 7
    8. Scene 8
    9. Scene 9
  3. Act Two
    1. Scene 10
    2. Scene 11
    3. Scene 12
    4. Scene 13
    5. Scene 14
    6. Scene 15
    7. Scene 16
    8. Scene 17
    9. Scene 18
    10. Scene 19
    11. Scene 20
  4. Act Three
    1. Scene 21
    2. Scene 22
    3. Scene 23
    4. Scene 24
    5. Scene 25
    6. Scene 26
    7. Scene 27
    8. Scene 28
    9. Scene 29
    10. Scene 30
  5. Act Four
    1. Scene 31
    2. Scene 32
    3. Scene 33
    4. Scene 34
    5. Scene 35
    6. Scene 36
    7. Scene 37
    8. Scene 38

Act I

Scene 1

Outside the Simpson residence

Bart and Lisa are selling lemonade but no one is buying. Bart puts a dollar in the jar to make it look like others have bought before. Suddenly, everyone shows up.

Scene 2


Homer sees the lemonade and wants to buy some but he has no cash. He decided to go to Moes instead but his car won't start so he borrows Lisa's bike. On the way the bike gets stuck in his butt crack.

Scene 3

Moe's Tavern

Homer walks into Moe's bar and begins talking. Moe tells him to be quite because they're listening to Mrs. Crabapple break up with Seymour Skinner, who are both sitting in a booth.

Scene 4


Seymour doesn't understand that Mrs. Edna Crabapple is trying to break up with him. She gives up and asks some guys at the bar to break up for her and she'll buy them a beer. Homer takes the offer.

Scene 5


Homer gently lets Seymour down and Seymour is happy after Homer tells him how great his life is compared to his custom thesis.

Scene 6


Seymour leaves and the barflies, Lenny, Karl, and Moe tell him he did a great job breaking them up, that he made him feel better than when he was going out with her. Larry asks him to break up for him.

Scene 7


Doreen, Lenny's girlfriend, walks into the bar. Lenny hides. Homer sits next to her and tells her that Lenny is dead, she's sad then he breaks the truth and says the next news won't sound so bad.

Scene 8

In front of the Simpson Residence

Bart and Lisa are still selling lemonade and there are kids demanding more of it. Maggie is making more lemonade by mixing up powder in the kiddie pool.

Scene 9


A city representative shuts down the lemonade stand because Bart and Lisa don't have a vendor's license. Bart tries to bribe the official with 35 cents. He tells them to go take a form to the city office to get a license for custom dissertation. Then two men come with axes and break down the stand.

Act Two

Scene 10

Bureau of Licenses and Permits

With a long line, the city official is too busy because he's doing a crossword puzzle. Dr. Hibbert is holding a surgical saw and has blood on his scrubs because he said he needs his license and it ran out in the middle of surgery. The crowd grows restless. Lisa goes up and finishes his crossword puzzle and tells him to give her license to her.

Scene 11

Simpson Residence

Homer answers the phone. On the other line Homer's gay college roommate from Freshman year, Grady, calls him and says he wants Homer to break up for him because he found someone else, who we see is the Duff guy coming out of the shower. Homer hangs up and tells Marge he's going to a hard-core gay club and won't be home until three in the morning. She tells him to have fun and he leaves.

Scene 12

Lisa's Room (evening)

Lisa is playing crossword puzzles under her covers with a flashlight. Bart walks in and says she has finally gone "fruit loops". Lisa uses all of his insults as answers to her crossword. She realizes that BART is San Francisco's people mover and Bart puns, "speaking of San Francisco's people mover" and there's a quick cut to the next scene.

Scene 13

Gay Club Dancefloor

With loud electronic music, Homer is dancing with Grady's lover and tells him he's going to break up with him. He realizes that the "seven minutes" he'll go without love will be bearable with the way Homer broke the news to him. Homer asks everyone in the floor if they want him to help them get rid of a special someone. Half the floor raises their hand and he tells them to move to the right, meeting up with a new partner.

Scene 14

Simpson Residence (day)

Lisa walks into a room holding the crossword puzzle and tells her mom she loves crossword puzzles. Marge thinks she's involved with another religion and that it's a fad. Grandpa is also there and says he's been doing them for a long time too and still does the Springfield Shopper puzzle. Lisa says the only real test of skills is the New York Times puzzle by Will Shorts.

Scene 15

School Bus

Lisa is going to school and draws some letters on the condensated window. She's not happy with what she sees. As she goes through Springfield she looks at the signs and makes crossword puzzles out of the names in ecstacy. Otto looks over her shoulder saying how wonderful it really is. Bart asks who is driving the bus and Otto asks "what bus?"

Scene 16

Nuclear Plant - Homer's Safety Console

Homer answers the phone "Sweet Conclusions, Break-up Service". He disposes of their loved one tenderly.

Scene 17


A) At a ballgame, someone proposes to Miss Hoover through the jumbotron. Homer's appearance shows up on the screen and blows it up with another message that says "she wants to see other people."

B) At a wedding, a man lifts the veil and it's Homer and he sadly shakes his head "no".

C) At a tattoo parlor, Snake is getting a girls name and "for ever" tattooed onto his back. Homer grabs the pen and adds an "n" to "for N ever".

Scene 18

Springfield Elementary - Schoolyard

Lisa is making a crossword puzzle in the hopscotch section of the schoolyard. Superintendent Chalmers asks Lisa what she's doing, perhaps vandalizing. Lisa tells him and he admits he's a "puzzle head" too and says it helps him to relax after dealing with Skinner. He gives her a flier to attend a crossword puzzle. Lisa is ecstatic.

Scene 19

Homer Residence (night) - Homer's bedroom

Homer and Marge are in bed ready to sleep. Homer is holding money and explaining how he makes so much money helping people break up. Marge is disgusted and said he makes it too easy for people to break up over a "rough patch". She asks him what if someone was there to break them everytime she had his doubts about him. She turns off the lights and goes to bed. Homer stays up wondering.

Scene 20


With Marge sleeping, later the spirits of the relationships Homer killed visit him. He then sees the babies the couples would have had. Then he sees furniture and a dresser tells him they're the antiques those couples would have bought together. Homer is distraut. Homer wakes up in a nightmare and it wakes Marge up. He tells her he's getting out of the break-up business and he doesn't think he'll sleep soundly again. Marge tries to calm him but he already fell back to sleep.

Act Three

Scene 21

Springfield Hyatt Hotel Crossword Championship

People are playing their puzzles on large boards across the room. Lisa and Homer walks in. Homer pretends like he enjoys it and then he leaves and goes to the hotel bar.

Scene 22

Hotel Bar

Homer walks in and see that they're watching the championship on a screen in the bar. Homer asks what they're doing. They say they're making it fun by betting on it. Homer takes his cash from his break-up business and puts all his money on Lisa Alloju and an Asian kid.

Scene 23


Lisa writes on a board and says "she won" and the camera pulls back from the screen and Homer says he won and like any prudent gambler, he knows when to walk away: never.

Scene 24


a) Lisa is writing more words on the puzzle. b) Homer wins more cash. c) Repeat d) Repeat e) The Simpson clan sit in the championship cheering for their daughter wearing shirts "L" "I" "S" "A" but the way they're sitting it spells Ilsa. The camera pulls back to reveal a German girl with a smile. Homer moves a seat over and it correctly spells "Lisa" and the German girl's smile turns into a frown. f) Lisa is writing more words on the puzzle. g) Homer wins more cash. h) Bart helps to train Lisa by feeding her alphabet soup. i) Lisa is writing more words on the puzzle. j) Homer wins more cash. k) Lisa jumps on a trampoline to reach the top of the board. l) The referee blows a whistle and tells everyone to take a break.

Scene 25

Hotel Bar

Lisa walks in and excitedly tells her dad that she might win. Homer says when she wins, he wins and that he'll explain that on his death-bed. Lisa admits that it is about now when something so great is happening to her that she'll doubt she's worth it or undeserve it. Homer asks if it will happen and she says it's practically a sure thing. Homer looks over to the hotel bar and wonders if he should pull out of the betting now. A woman walks in and tells the contestants to go to the boards. Lisa tells Homer to wish her luck.

Scene 26


Homer brings a sack of money to the bartender and says he wants to change his bet and he's going to vote against his daughter. The bartender says he'll take his money but won't look him in his eye. Homer says he won't look him in his eye and they try to exchange the money but can't see what they're doing.

Scene 27

Conference Room

The contest announcer says they're up to their last two contestants and before they begin he wants to show a film to celebrate the words recently taken out of the dictionary.

Scene 28


Gil and Lisa talk to each other. Gil is wearing glasses and gives a hard story about his wife who died two years ago and says she was the real crossword expert. Lisa says it's sad. The buzzer starts and they each go to their boards. Gil says he'll "spread some Qs around." Then his glasses fall off. Lisa sees it. Gil says he let Shirley down. Lisa grabs the glasses and sees there are no lenses in the glasses. Then turns and sees the Gil finished his board and the buzzer goes off. Lisa loses. Bart says "Lisa got hussled" and Lisa admits she "blew it again."

Scene 29

Hotel Bar

Homer just saw Lisa lose on the screen and is happy because he wins.

Scene 30

Simpson Residence (morning)

Bart and Lisa are waiting on the schoolbus. Homer walks out of the house to his car while whistling. On the way he picks up a flower and puts it on his shirt. Bart says his dad is very happy and Lisa says something is different about him. She looks him over and sees he has metal tips in his shoelaces. She asks him if he bumped into some money they don't know about. Homer inhales because he's caught. He says no. She notices he got his hair highlighted (his two strands). He said the sun did it. She then sees the car antennae was straightened and has a diamond on top of it and wants to know what's going on. Homer admits that he bet against her and that she'll understand when she places large bets against her own children and hopes she's not mad. Lisa looks like she's about to cry but says she's not bad and walks into the house.

Act Four

Scene 31


a) Lisa is sitting in the dark in her room and Homer opens the door asking if she's sure she's not mad. She says monotonely that she's not mad while looking straight ahead.

b) At the school playground Lisa is jumping rope and Homer gets in with her and asks her the same question. She says calmly she's not mad.

c) In the backyard at a tea party with Lisa, Homer grabs Lisa's teddy bear and asks the teddy to ask Lisa if she's mad. As if the bear answered, Homer asks if he said that he knows women and that when women say they're not mad that they're madder than ever. The camera pulls back and we see that Lisa is no longer at the tea party. Homer asks the bear to drive him home because he's a little drunk.

Scene 32

Elementary School - Hallway

Homer brings Lisa a gift to school and tries to give it to her as she opens her locker. She slams the door and screams that he stopped being her dad when he bet against her and that she only has a mom and is taking her name. She shows him a notebook to write essays of hers that had "Lisa Simpson" on the front with "Simpson" scratched out and "Bouvier" written below it. Homer gets on his knees and yells "no".

Scene 33

Moe's Tavern

Homer drinks a beer and tells the guys that Lisa is mad and is using Marge's maiden name instead of his. Moe tells him that he needs to do something nice to win her back. Carl says she might not take back his name but there is still a chance she might take him back as a daddy. Homer is happy and says no one gives advice better than childless drunks and leaves.

Scene 34


Moe asks if the name Lisa Simpson is available and there's a lot of good will attached to that name and he's going to take it. The phone rings and he answers, "Lisa's Taver, Lisa speaking."

Scene 35

Simpson Residence (day)

Lisa is sitting on the couch watching television wearing a "Lisa B" t-shirt. Marge walks in holding a newspaper and says she's honored she took her name but says it's not that great and the kids in high school used to call her Marge Boobier. Lisa corrects her saying it was Jackie Kennedy's maiden name. Marge said she never knew that. Lisa asked her what she thought it was and Marge said she thought it was Jackie O, like spaghetti-os, that she thought that's where her money came from pos system. She tries to cheer her up by giving her the NY Times Crossword Puzzle. Lisa doesn't want it but Marge said she could do it in a couple of hours. Lisa said it takes one hour and took it and walks out of the room.

Scene 36

Lisa's bedroom (43 minutes later)

Lisa finishes the crossword puzzle and is enjoying the puns by Will Shorts and sees she finishes it in record-time. She then notices in the crossword puzzle that there's a message custom essay written in it "Dumb Dad Sorry For Stupid Bet". She says it seems Homer must have planted that message.

Scene 37

Living Room

Lisa asks her dad who is sitting on the couch drinking a beer if it's true that he planted a message in the puzzle. Homer admits that he had some help from Will Shorts, the NY Times crossword editor. He turns around in his chair and is in the room and another guy turns over and Lisa knows it's "master puzzle constructor Mural Regal".

Scene 38


Lisa admits that she's "kinda touched". She's in obvious heaven with Shorts and Regle in the same room as her and can hardly speak, though. Shorts tells her she didn't get the entire puzzle yet. Lisa is a surprised and looks through it again and notices the first letters of the clues spell out a longer message. Homer tells Lisa through the clues that Bouvier or Simpson, he cherishes her. The song "Cherish" plays in the background. Lisa forgives her dad and they hug.

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Edited December 28, 2010 (diff)